| Toys and Gadgets |
| Swash: Bringing Bathrooms into the 21st Century |
| by Davina Blair |
| Why chafe your derriere with yesterday’s newspaper when you can rinse and dry your bottom using the ancient, but perfectly temperate elements of wind and water? |
Although Europeans and Asians have been eschewing toilet paper for a long time, the American public has been slow to clean up their act. Brondell, Inc. finally introduced a brand new super-toilet into the mainstream American marketplace. Making its debut this year is the Swash: a toilet that washes and dries your behind and feminine area at a comfortable temperature upon completion of waste removal.
While it is currently quite pricey, $400-$550, eventually it will become affordable to the general public. Shortly thereafter, toilet paper stocks would fall precipitously, and the culture of bathroom humorists would undergo drastic transformation.
An infomercial on the manufacturer’s site boasts that users would feel thoroughly clean and refreshed, just like having “a spa in your bathroom”. In addition to comfort, you will avoid getting unsightly goosebumps on your posterior. Lest my article sound like a haphazard attempt at toilet humor, Yahoo News interviewed Brondell CEO Scott Pinizzoto to find out if this was, in fact, a naughty bathroom joke. He said:
"This is the next evolution of the toilet...we are trying to educate people that there is a more hygienic and comfortable way to go to the bathroom." One potential hazard of the Swash is that time spent waiting for the bathroom will increase greatly. If you live in a house with more than two other people without a bathroom for each one, chances are, you will never get the chance to relieve yourself. The sensations of the warm jet of water followed by a warm breeze would make practically everyone reluctant to relinquish the throne so you can imagine that installing them in a public women’s restroom would be nothing short of catastrophic!
However, if you have multiple bathrooms, make the investment. You will never again have to dirty your hands just because those quilting bears were a little lazy when they got to your roll. |
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