| Slade's Filibuster |
| The War on Christmas |
| by Julius Slade |
| Or how I learned to stop loving holidays and embrace hysteria |
Most people love Christmas for the bright lights, the family atmosphere, the songs, the celebration of religion, I love Christmas because I’m glad that literally everything is political now. The so called “War on Christmas” is in full swing and the right is fighting against this amazing oppression on a majority.
Fox News yapper John Gibson has release a frighteningly titled tome called “The WAR(emphasis his) on Christmas” which is complete with an even scarier, if overly wordy subtitle “How the Liberal Plot to Ban This Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought.” Fox News has also run a series of features titled “Christmas Under Siege.” As reported earlier on Deep Fried Rice, Jerry Falwell has mobilized 24,000 little Cindy Lou Hoo lawyers to save Christmas from the marauding bands of atheists burning Christmas trees or some such thing.
Its funny, as I sit here as an agnostic liberal, I look at my blinking fiber-optic Christmas tree and try to figure out how I was left out of the “Liberal Plot.” I thought I knew people in this town, and certainly in the liberal organizations, but I have been left out of the plot against Christmas. Maybe its just a Hollywood Jew thing as Bill Donahue of the Catholic League said last year during the war on Christmas “Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular. It's not a secret, OK? [...] Hollywood likes anal sex. They like to see the public square without nativity scenes.”
And so this bizarre war goes. The latest shot across the bow is House Speaker Dennis Hastert loudly demanding that the Capitol Holiday Tree be named the Capitol Christmas Tree. Personally, I could care less either way, if it is called a Christmas Tree or a Holiday Tree, it doesn’t offend me and it won’t suddenly cause me to gain or lose faith. I do understand however that Jews, Hindus and people from all religions would most likely be more comfortable with a “holiday tree.”
It goes to the other favorite target of the war on Christmas as well, the schools. one teacher was quoted as saying that she was nervous having her kids sing traditional Christmas carols like “Silent Night” and “O Come all Ye Faithful.” She shouldn’t have kids sing these, they are religious songs, have them sing secular fair in schools like “Jingle Bells.”
Overall though, I doubt that any of you out there have had your Christmas holiday parties “attacked” recently. There is no “War on Christmas,” it’s just another sideshow issue. In a time of political unrest and uncertainty in the country, we owe it to ourselves to discuss more important issues on the Hill than Holiday Tree vs. Christmas Tree.
Julius Slade welcomes comments at Julius.slade@deepfriedrice.com
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